


i just need you to be my armor and courage

by chuuyaya



Category: FOG[电竞] - 漫漫何其多 | FOG[Diàn Jìng] - Màn Màn Hé Qí Duō
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Shi Luo’s family is shit but wbk, Yu Sui is soft for Shi Luo and Shi Luo only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28008930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuuyaya/pseuds/chuuyaya
Summary: Yu Sui was Yu Sui. He was cruel to others and even more to himself.All the gentleness he had was reserved for and only for Shi Luo.
Relationships: Shi Luo/Yu Sui (FOG)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	i just need you to be my armor and courage

**Author's Note:**

> oh look another fic . i was trying to escape writing the soulmate+fake dating yushi fic so i wrote a post-canon yushi fic,,,, yep [clown noises]
> 
> this was like written in less than two hours????? characterization as wack as usual so forgive me for the errors because i didn't edit nor beta'd this. we die like saint's entire team.
> 
> title from fog's theme(?) song translated [here](https://youtu.be/zsFd3mMuMk0)

**i just need you to be my armor and my courage**

*

Ever since they made their relationship public, Shi Luo feels like Yu Sui had been acting more and more unrestrained each passing day.

It’s not like he kisses Shi Luo out in the open now in front of the whole team but he still corners Shi Luo in the kitchen or in the bathroom, kissing him senseless but knowing that he still does it when everybody _knows_ their relationship and probably knows what they’re doing every time Yu Sui corners him is enough to make Shi Luo blush down to the tip of his toes.

Not only that, before, after they were done with training both of them would usually go separately to their rooms, do their usual routines and only come to each other when lights were out but now Yu Sui would blatantly either follow Shi Luo to his room or ask Shi Luo where to sleep. He does it in an uncaring manner but Shi Luo could still feel the hammering of his heart against his chest, unable to look at their teammates who had smiles all over their faces (probably except Chen Huo because Chen Huo smiling would be a nightmare) as if they had an unspoken agreement to tease Shi Luo. 

It’s not like he doesn’t consent to it. If Shi Luo were to tell Yu Sui to stop, he knows that Yu Sui would respect his decision because that’s how Yu Sui is when it came to Shi Luo. Gentle to the point of making Shi Luo’s heart hurt, holding Shi Luo gently like a treasure in his hands.

“Luo luo,” Shi Luo hears Yu Sui’s voice next to his, breathlessly whispering Shi Luo’s name. Sleep rescinds immediately, as if his body was instinctively following Yu Sui’s order. “Wake up, baby.”

Shi Luo groans, placing his arm against his eyes. Since he couldn’t feel any warmth, Yu Sui was probably downstairs to either get their food or was called in by Zhou Hou. He turns off the alarm which was Yu Sui’s voice, calling Shi Luo _‘Luo_ _luo_ ’ and _‘Baby’_ on loop.

One more thing that Yu Sui seemed to find amusement in was recording his voice in Shi Luo’s phone. He doesn’t know why Yu Sui’s doing it but every day he wakes up with another voice recording of Yu Sui in his phone, each voice recording short and yet different and seemingly unrelated from each other, yet Shi Luo was Shi Lho after all. He could pick up the message instantly. All of Yu Sui’s recordings might seem unconnected but his words were like he was replying to the posts he made in his side account.

Like he predicted, there was a new one in his phone. Without much preamble, Shi Luo plays it unhesitatingly. He would’ve thought that after being with Yu Sui for so long, he’d be desentisized with how low and breathless Yu Sui’s voice seem in the mornings but Shi Luo could still feel his ears warm up every time he hears Yu Sui’s voice.

“Good morning Luo luo,” As usual, he starts with a greeting even if it wasn’t already morning. “From now on, you’ll have more things you can claim your own, not just me and the glory you have in your hands. I’ll give to you what you can’t get with your hands.”

When Yu Sui says gentle words, one couldn’t help but fall for him. Slag man Yu really is a slag man to the core.

Shi Luo places the audio on a separate folder, along with the rest of Yu Sui’s voice recordings and livestream videos.

Covering his face with his hands, Shi Luo wills himself to calm down before Yu Sui comes back up and sees him looking like he just came back from hell with how red his face was.

“Oh, you’re awake. Morning, Luo luo.”

Speak of the slag man and he shall appear.

Yu Sui places the food warmer in Shi Luo’s desk before he grabs Shi Luo’s hands, pressing them down to the bed to see Shi Luo’s face. Thankfully, the redness has gone down a bit but his ears and cheeks were still warm and judging from the smile on Yu Sui’s face before he presses his lips on Shi Luo’s forehead, Shi Luo guesses that it was obvious on what he was thinking of.

“You…” Shi Luo looks up at him. He’s been wondering this for awhile now but he didn’t have the time to ask before Yu Sui presses him down on the bed and forgetting about it due to Yu Sui’s kisses. “Why?”

“Hm?” Yu Sui raises a brow, tilts his head and smiles. “You said that you believe that forehead of yours is unlucky. I’m trying to dispel that belief.”

_By kissing my forehead? What kind of superstition is this Yu Shen?_

“Not that.” Shi Luo says, although his heart did tremble at Yu Sui’s words. “Calling me Luo luo and the recording.”

It’s not that he dislikes it but it’s been awhile since someone had called him that everyday. The people who called Shi Luo ‘Luo luo’ back then was mostly Puppy and Yu Sui. With both of them gone and with Shi Luo refusing to reconcile with his family, no one else called him Luo luo again. After Yu Sui and the others came back, occasionally, Puppy with slip up and call him ‘Luo luo’ or ‘Xiao Luo’. Now though, Yu Sui would call him ‘Luo luo’ at any given opportunity.

Yu Sui hums. “Your fans once told me that after you went to NSN, no one called you _Luo luo_ anymore. I’m trying to change that one too.”

Shi Luo stares at him dumbfounded. This man… really.

“And that audio recording,” Yu Sui smiles indulgently, his gaze softening as he looks at Shi Luo. “I’m changing that too.”

Shi Luo narrows his eyes at him. He was neither dense nor unintelligent to not pick up the clues that Yu Sui was practically dropping to the ground.

“You heard it? When?”

Yu Sui nods. “The day I asked you to sleep together.”

“How?”

“I went through your music.”

Shi Luo grits his teeth. What kind of criminal would willingly admit to their crime? “And you’re willingly admitting to that?”

Yu Sui smiles. “Mm. Want to ‘deal’ with me, Shi shen?”

“You…” Shi Luo takes a deep breath. No matter how thick-skinned Shi Luo was, in front of Yu Sui he would admit defeat. “Stop being so unrestrained. It’s already morning and we’re at base.”

Yu Sui tilts his head. “We also did it during the morning here at base.”

“Captain.”

“Alright. I’ll stop teasing.” Yu Sui laughs. He pecks Shi Luo on the forehead again before sitting down across Shi Luo’s desk, opening the food warmer for both of them. “C’mon then. Breakfast.”

Shi Luo wasn’t sappy (—one would argue that he was given the state of his side account but if one says that to his face, they’d know the consequences of their words) and he pretty much preferred to show it through his actions but looking at Yu Sui like this—meticulously bringing him breakfast every day, kissing him on the forehead as much as he could to dispell the Shi Luo’s belief of his forehead being unlucky, calling him Luo luo daily in order to make up for the last two years where no one had called him that and making a voice recording everyday—Shi Luo knew he could never fall in love with anyone else after Yu Sui.

He wishes the days to continue on as peacefully as this.

With Yu Sui by his side, teammates he could trust and a domain he could finally call his own.

“What are we doing today?”

With the season being over and Team Free bagging the domestic and world championship on their first year of establishment, everyone was pretty much relaxed and satisfied with the result. Nowadays, they had too much free time in their hands and aside from trying to meet the broadcasting quota, Shi Luo had nothing else to do since training was suspended.

“Whatever you want.” Yu Sui replies. “Want to take a vacation?”

“Can we?” Shi Luo tilts his head, thinking of places they could go to. Now that they’ve made their relationship public, there was no need for cautiousness when they want to travel. “We didn’t get to go to Hangzhou with them.”

“Want to go?”

Shi Luo casts a doubtful look at Yu Sui. “We won’t just stay in the hotel for the whole vacation, right?”

Yu Sui touches Shi Luo’s bleached hair, amusement evident on his eyes as he laughs. Shi Luo wasn’t even a tad bit offended, finding his question sensible considering what they did the last time they were alone on the base.

“We’ll go tour Hangzhou then.” He says yet the light on his eyes never dim, amusement still palpable on his features. “We could stay as long as we want.”

Before Shi Luo could respond, Yu Sui’s ringtone echoes in the room. As far as Shi Luo knew, there were only two people who called Yu Sui. One was the delivery guy and the other was Manager Zhou. Shi Luo focuses on eating. Back then, if it was younger Shi Luo, he’d probably want to listen to the phone call and demand it to Yu Sui too. He was really unreasonable back in the days and for the first time, Shi Luo wonders how Yu Sui managed to not get annoyed and fall in love with him instead.

Shi Luo could faintly hear Manager Zhou’s words over the phone. He sounded frantic but Yu Sui looked calm, merely humming in response. “I’ll be right there,” He turns off his phone before looking at Shi Luo. “Finish your breakfast. Zhou Hou needs me for something.”

“Mm.” Shi Luo nods. “You’re done eating?”

“Ate a little earlier.” Yu Sui replies, kissing Shi Luo on the forehead again. He grabs the jacket near the bed, not caring if it’s his or not placing it on himself without much difficulty.

Shi Luo sighs, _What’s with those slag man moves Yu Shen?_

When Shi Luo was done eating, Yu Sui still hadn’t come back. This wasn’t unusual especially if he was meeting Zhou Hou who was like a mother hen. He didn’t find it weird at all so he continues on to take a bath and even _after_ then, Yu Sui still hadn’t come back.

Opening the door, he finds that the corridors were empty and the base was quiet. Looking around, he couldn’t see Chen Huo or Puppy in the training rooms nor were they in their rooms. Just as he was about to go downstairs, he sees Puppy leaning on the wall, looking slightly surprised when he sees Shi Luo.

“Xiao Luo luo,” Puppy greets, covering his view of the first floor. “Double row with me for a bit?”

Shi Luo frowns. The season just ended and they were practically on vacation? What’s this about training already?

“Oh hey Shi Luo!” Chen Huo comes up too and like Puppy, he blocks Shi Luo’s view. “Come play with me for a bit.”

Shi Luo frowns even further. What was up with everybody today? Shi Luo wasn’t dense. He could clearly see that they were trying to stop him from going downstairs.

“Move.”

Puppy sighs. “Shi Shen.”

“What’s going on?” Shi Luo crosses his arms on his chest. “Who’s downstairs? Seeing that you’re both stopping me from going down and seeing that Yu Sui isn’t here, it’s probably related to me. So move.”

“Ah,” Puppy side steps. “Shi Shen, why do you need to be so fucking smart.”

“Can’t you just be fucking obedient for a while?” Chen Huo grumbles but he also steps aside anyway.

If they were preventing him from going downstairs, it could only mean that it was bad news for Shi Luo. Someone must’ve told them to keep him out and prevent him from coming downstairs. Why would they need to? Shi Luo’s temper wasn’t as explosive as before—no, it was _still_ as explosive but he had learned how to control it. There was only one possibility. That whoever was downstairs could make Shi Luo’s control snap.

The first person he sees is Yu Sui, although it’s merely his back but he could see that the usual relaxed and composed Yu Sui was coiling up with tension. _That_ itself was unusual. Yu Sui wasn’t Shi Luo. He had learned how to control his emotions and no matter what, he would never let anyone else see him losing his composure.

Shi Luo opens his mouth to call him when he hears Yu Sui say, in the coldest voice he had ever heard him: “Leave.”

The first and the last time Shi Luo had heard Yu Sui’s voice being so cold and closed off was when he heard Shi Luo sold five years of his career to Ji Yanhan. Compared to back then, his voice right now was downright terrifying, especially coming from someone who was calm and collected no matter what happened.

“Yu Sui?”

He sees Yu Sui freeze slightly before he turns around. The expression on his face matching the coldness of his voice. Because of the movement, Shi Luo could clearly see who Yu Sui was talking to.

Unconsciously, Shi Luo takes a step back. It’s been ten years since he had last seen her face but even then, her face burned in Shi Luo’s memory. It was the face of the person he waited for, year after year even amidst the suffering and even when things were bleak. He tried his hardest to memorize her face, to remember it fully lest he forget when she came back.

Her eyes were glistening with tears. “Luo luo…”

Shi Luo’s hands trembled slightly. In front of his father, he could calmly tell him to disown him and never bother himself with Shi Luo ever again. He wouldn’t even bat an eyelash if his cousin or his grandfather was here but her—

The first person to abandon him. The first person who spoke false and empty promises. The reason why Shi Luo hated promises and the deep-rooted reason of Shi Luo’s insecurities.

How long has it been? Over ten years and he had never seen a glimpse of her shadow. He waited for her, year after year, holding on to the hope that she was going to whisk him away from that house. He waited and waited and _waited_ until he could no longer fool himself.

He thought he had come to terms with it but things that happened in his childhood was deep-rooted to his very bones and even if he fooled everyone else, there was one person whom he could never fool: himself. No matter how much he tried and how much he buried those insecurities, the longing and the pain, it unearthed the moment she came crashing back to his life.

Shi Luo doesn’t notice Yu Sui’s worried expression, nor does he see Yu Sui walking towards him, calling out his name. In front of him is a scene he never wants to remember ever again.

_“Don’t say such childish things,” Even with his begging, he’s unable to make her stay. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Don’t worry.”_

_“Don’t make trouble. Don’t be afraid. You’re only staying here for summer vacation.”_ Lie. Lie. Everything was a lie. She didn’t come back for him, not once in those ten years. She left him in that house full of monsters who treated him like a nuisance. _“As long as your grandfather and father like you, you would only stay here for one summer vacation. I’d come back and get you after, okay?”_

_“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, okay, Luo luo?”_

“...luo. Shi Luo!”

Blinking, Shi Luo finally sees the scene in front of him. Right now, everything was covered up by Yu Sui. Yu Sui’s hands were on his ears, trying to cover up the sounds of his mother calling him. His eyesight was blocked by Yu Sui’s body, hugging him to ensure he could only see Yu Sui right in front of him.

“Shi Luo.” He hears Yu Sui mutter, voice close to Shi Luo’s ear. “It’s okay, don’t worry. I’m here.”

“Yu…” Shi Luo takes a deep breath, trying to calm his erratic thoughts and even more erratic heartbeat. “Sui. Yu Sui.”

“Mm,” He feels Yu Sui’s lips on his forehead. “I’m here.”

Shi Luo could calm his emotions down under five minutes if he was in a game. He wouldn’t lose his composure but this— _this_ was different. No matter how much time had passed, the wounds she left on his heart would never heal.

“Upstairs.” Shi Luo breathes out struggling hard. He feels like the air around him had dissipated, leaving only a miniscule of it and he’s trying his hardest to suck it in. “Don’t wanna be here.”

“Alright.”

Yu Sui turns his head, voice cold as he says, “Escort her out. If she still wants to talk, the lawyer is always available. Don’t let her in the base or near here again.”

His expression matched his glacier voice. Even Old Qiao was taken aback by the cold anger in Yu Sui’s voice, not to mention Chen Huo, Puppy and Zhou Hou who had never seen him like this. Yu Sui was usually passive and he never cared for whatever people might think so to say that Yu Sui rarely got angry was an understatement.

But how could they forget? Yu Sui was Yu Sui. He was cruel to others and even more to himself.

All the gentleness he had was reserved for and only for Shi Luo.

One could clearly see it as he turns around, the glacier expression melting into something gentle and full of worry as he looks at Shi Luo. One could clearly see how much he valued Shi Luo as he tried to shield him from everything that may hurt him.

But Yu Sui didn’t care for what they think. He only cared for the person in front of him who was trying his hardest to calm down, to act tough when he was slowly breaking down from the remnants of the wounds bought by the past.

Without even caring for the aftermath and how the hell Zhou Hou would manage his orders, Yu Sui brings Shi Luo back to his room. He sat down on the bed, bringing Shi Luo with him as he presses him on his chest, circling his arms around his waist. Yu Sui leans on the headboard, patting and softly caressing Shi Luo’s back.

He doesn’t speak, letting Shi Luo take his time to adjust his emotions and tell Yu Sui what he wanted but Yu Sui couldn’t help the pain that lashes at him when he sees Shi Luo’s reddened eyes and the unnatural heaving of his chest.

Back then, when he left, every word that came out of Shi Luo’s mouth that night, Yu Sui had embedded it on his soul. He turned those words in his head over and over again, memorizing every single word in order for him not to slip and remind Shi Luo of his mother abandoning him.

This person, who Yu Sui usually cradled in his arms with care, who he couldn’t bear to hurt one single hair on his head, was now hurting so badly because of his past.

Shi Luo gripped his clothes tightly yet Yu Sui didn’t care how expensive it was, letting Shi Luo do what he wanted. Yu Sui hums, caressing Shi Luo’s back, going up and down his spine. “I’m here. Shi Luo, I’m here with you.”

“Yu Sui…”

“I’m here.”

Shi Luo’s grip on his clothes tighten.

“I won’t leave.” Yu Sui kisses him on the forehead. “Never again.”

“Yu Sui.”

“Love you too much to leave you behind.”

“Yu Sui.”

“I’m here, Shi Luo.”

Shi Luo takes a deep breath. He slumps down on Yu Sui’s body, his head on the crook of Yu Sui’s neck. “Sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Couldn’t keep my emotions in check,” Shi Luo mutters. “Nothing usually fazes me but… I don’t…”

“Baby, it’s fine. You don’t need to act tough in front of me.” He thumbs Shi Luo’s nape, caressing it softly. “I’ll gladly shoulder all your burdens with you. What do you want me to do?”

“Just… this.” Shi Luo hugs him back, tight enough to bruise. He presses his body closer, almost like he’s trying to cover himself with Yu Sui’s body entirely. “Just stay with me.”

Yu Sui smiles. He would do anything Shi Luo asked, he did so when he was nineteen, what more now when he could give Shi Luo whatever he wanted?

Staying with Shi Luo was already a given.

Yu Sui covers them both with a blanket, hugging Shi Luo’s body and caressing him softly.

Just like this, he covered Shi Luo from the suffering and pain that the world wished to give him.

Just like this, he shielded Shi Luo from anything that could bring him harm and hurt him.

Just like this, they both fall asleep, nestled in each other’s arms—in their safe spaces.

**Author's Note:**

> come scream about fish food with me on twitter: shiraryous


End file.
